City of Oaks Funeral Home & Cremation
Obituary
Henry Allen Hartman
Cary, North Carolina
Age 66.
Died 05/08/2025.
Henry was born in Port Deposit, MD, but spent most of his childhood in Billings, MT. His was a childhood filled with ample activity and energy for everything from sports to yearbook photography to piano to academics to senior class president. Somehow, he still found plenty of time for high jinx and playing tricks on his younger sisters.
College meant leaving home for California. Henry attended Stanford University, where he studied Chemical Engineering, was Treasurer of his fraternity, Beta Theta Pi (more high jinx), and met the woman who would become his wife. He graduated with a B.S. in 1981. After Stanford, he studied at the Max Planck Institute in Goettingen, Germany. In 1992, Henry earned an MBA with a concentration in Finance from New York University.
Henry’s career spanned decades in the computer and networking industries, with years at IBM, Extreme Networks, and Enterasys. He treated his customers as friends and always had their best interests at the core of his efforts. Despite traveling all over the world to make computer systems run more smoothly, Henry’s favorite client destinations were perhaps UNC Chapel Hill and the Panthers' Stadium in Charlotte, where he and his boys enjoyed the game and the perks of providing good service.
A life-long learner, Hank was a voracious reader and consumer of information. In retirement, his curiosity and penchant for new things led him to two completely fresh careers that became close to his heart. In 2016, Henry began serving as a Tax Preparation Volunteer for the AARP Foundation and eventually the site coordinator of the Cary group, as well as an expert mentor to other volunteers. He enjoyed not just helping people from all walks of life, but also the stories he heard and the relationships he developed with his many repeat clients.
His other second career was much fluffier and (hopefully) more creative than tax preparation. In 2017, Henry became the proud co-owner of Great Yarns, Raleigh, fulfilling a lifelong dream for his beloved and crafty wife Pam. Although he didn't knit or crochet, he learned a lot about yarn as he tracked inventory and accounts, fulfilled online orders, and meticulously did – as he put it – “everything.” Thinking outside the box and changing the rules were his goals, and he was always a wonderful model, encourager, snack purveyor, handyman, and self-proclaimed Pom Pom King!
Cooking grew from a thoughtful husbandly gesture to another crafty retirement pursuit. While Pam taught piano lessons to the neighborhood children, Henry promised her nights out of the kitchen. He learned to be an excellent chef who enjoyed experimenting and sharing the results with family and friends. His turkey fries made holidays more special and his seafood boils extraordinaire topped off trips to the beach! Fortunately, only one fire. And guess who could fix anything? Hank and Pam's almost 39 years of marriage were highlighted, tormented, and cluttered with all of the projects he planned to complete, and usually did. And the shop staff knew that as soon as they called Mr. Hank a technical problem would immediately and magically resolve itself.
Nothing was more important to Hank than his family. Whether he was coaching soccer "Fierceness Training," helping with homework, showing off in a Daddy/Daughter Dance, sneaking in at the last minute for a concert, cheering from the sidelines, counseling finances, or selecting just the right words for a Father of the Groom speech, Hank was deeply committed to his children and his wife. Most of his favorite adventures involved visiting his children in places where they were working or studying, to learn about the places and to share in the life experiences. We believe that his time on this earth with us was too short, but we are grateful for every minute.
Faith was always his cornerstone. Henry loved his Heavenly Father and is resting in His arms as we read these words. He was an active member of First United Methodist Church, Cary, where he made a joyful noise as a tenor in the Chancel Choir, helped Pam teach Sunday School, and again tried to increase his knowledge with Disciple Bible Studies, occasionally discovering that he was leading the class, after all! Please think of him as you read from Psalm 61:
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
For you, God, have heard my vows; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name....
…Then I will ever sing in praise of your name and fulfill my vows day after day.
Henry was preceded in death by his parents, Jean Humphreys Hartman and Allen Porter Hartman. He leaves behind a loving family: wife Pamela, son Samuel of Cary, NC, daughter Grace Parce (Anthony) of Nashville, TN, son Joshua of Charlottesville, VA, and son Benjamin (Chandler) of New York, NY...all for whom he liked to tease he "made it all possible!" He will also be missed by his sisters, Amy White (Thomas) of Gig Harbor, WA and Rebecca (Michael) Newcomer of Asheville, NC, many nieces and nephews, his stepmother Connye Hartman of Billings, MT, and his pampered and treasured dog, Phoebe, who nursed him devotedly through his illness.
Please also join us for a Memorial Service honoring Henry on Saturday, June 7 at 11 am in the Sanctuary of First United Methodist Church, Cary, 117 S. Academy Street. In lieu of flowers, consider donations to:
AARP Foundation
foundation.aarp.org, or
PO Box 93207
Long Beach CA 90809-3207
Duke Glioblastoma Foundation
info@glioblastomafoundation.org, or
2451 Croasdale Farm Parkway, Suite 109
Durham, NC 27705
Working. Learning. Loving. Sharing. Fixing. Family. Faith.
All were important emphases for Henry, and hopefully ways that you will remember him.
We love you, Dear Hank, and will miss you to the end of our days...XOXOXO
For additional information or for service details, please reach out to the family directly.
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City of Oaks Cremation and Funeral Home is a full-service funeral home in Raleigh, serving all of North Carolina and beyond. We provide an alternative to costly funeral homes and every day we help families in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and all over North Carolina make simple, affordable funeral arrangements.
Simply having to reach out to a funeral home can feel overwhelming. Our goal is to simplify the entire funeral home experience and make the process as easy as possible. We hope to eliminate any unnecessary surprises by publishing our total cost and the services we provide directly on our website. All of our obituaries are provided free of charge as a way to help families celebrate and commemorate the lives of their loved ones.
Our Promise
Apples to Apples
Just like all other licensed funeral homes in North Carolina, City of Oaks Cremation, LLC is regulated by the NC Board of Funeral Service.
The same laws that apply to the big corporate funeral homes also apply to the modest independently owned firms like ours. All crematories in North Carolina, regardless of who owns them, are inspected annually by the state and must adhere to the same rules and laws.
Genuine Care
We're committed to providing families within our community unsurpassed service before, during and after the time of loss.
Our staff will provide clear communication to your family through each step as we move forward from the original phone call notifying us of a death to the time we deliver the urn back to your family. We will treat your family with the utmost respect, as we honor the wishes of your loved one.
We promise to make this process affordable and as endurable as possible.
State Wide
Our Funeral Home is located in Wake County NC; however, we provide our services to families throughout the entire State.
Unlike other funeral homes, we don't charge an additional mileage fee. Regardless of what county you live in, we can help your family with making simple, affordable funeral arrangements. From Asheville to Wilmington, we're proud to help families statewide.
Our Services
$1196.75
Nobody likes surprise costs added in at the last minute. We guarantee you will not find any hidden charges here. We include everything you need for a simple or direct cremation. Simple, affordable and reliable. We have not changed the cost of our direct cremation service since we opened City of Oaks in 2012.
$2875.66
We offer the option of choosing how you receive your loved ones remains. Selecting our Direct Cremation with Solidified Remains option is a beautiful way to transform cremated remains into 40-60 “stones” that you can hold.
$1917.84
City of Oaks Funeral Home and Cremation provides an affordable cremation option with onsite visitation. Nobody likes surprise costs added in at the last minute. We guarantee you will not find any hidden charges here. Simple, affordable and reliable.
$2497.50
An immediate burial has the same end result as a traditional burial; however, we have eliminated the extra (sometimes unnecessary) services prior to getting to the cemetery. Not everyone wants an open casket for viewing or a limousine for the family. Despite the term immediate, we can move as fast as you need or as slow as you like. This option simply allows you to save money by eliminating some of the fancy extras at the funeral home.
$6081.48
We offer the same traditional funeral services as the big corporately owned funeral homes in the area; however, we cost about half the amount. You might consider a traditional funeral service if your family is looking for an open casket visitation, a traditional church service or a funeral service in the funeral home's chapel. A traditional funeral service can be altered to fit the needs of your family.
$3033.75
This establishment is one of a select number of funeral homes who meet the criteria for providing green funeral service by the Green Burial Council; a tax-exempt, nonprofit organization working to encourage environmentally sustainability in the field of funeral service. Our Green options allow for a funeral to take place without the use of toxic and non-biodegradable materials/chemicals.
$2640.59
As an alternative to traditional cremation, City of Oaks Funeral Home also offers Aquamation. The Aquamation process, often referred to as alkaline hydrolysis, uses a solution of water and potassium hydroxide to facilitate natural decomposition.