City of Oaks Funeral Home & Cremation

Mary DeMilia

Cary, North Carolina

Age 51.
Died 02/14/2023.

Mary DeMilia
Mary DeMilia of Raleigh, NC, passed away peacefully on Tuesday, February 14, 2023, at Templeton of Cary NC. She was born on July 7, 1971, in Belleville, New Jersey, the daughter of John Ryan and Vivian (Steransky) Ryan and is survived by her parents, her children Ryan DeMilia and Michelle DeMilia, and many extended family members who love her.

Mary spent her earliest years in Hoboken, NJ, moving to Nutley, NJ at a young age where she grew up just a few blocks from her grandparents, Timothy J. (Jr.) and Eleanore Ryan. Mary was an adored granddaughter and the apple of their eye! She graduated from Nutley High School in 1989, where she was a core member of the Nutley High School swim team. She received her Bachelor’s degree in Biology at Lehigh University in 1993, competing on the Lehigh swim team as well. She spent nearly two decades living and working in and around Raleigh, where in 2019, she completed coursework in cybersecurity, cyber and computer forensics and counterterrorism at Wake Technical Community College and began her new career as a Marketing and Database Analyst.

Competitive swimming remained an important part of Mary’s life, and she combined this talent with her commitment to volunteerism; one of her proudest achievements was to help raise over $125,000 towards cancer research as an Event Director for Swim Across America in 2011. Mary’s volunteer efforts were widespread and varied, including as Coach & Fundraising Lead for the Science Olympiad, a “shavee” for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, and a two-time cyclist for Le Tour de Femme in Cary, NC to benefit the Livestrong Foundation and the Angel Fund of Rex Hospital. Passionate about athletics, she enjoyed cycling, hiking, snorkeling, and water polo.

Above all, Mary was a dedicated mother and fierce friend, with a strong yet gentle spirit and a laugh that rang out with pure joy. She lived her life with courage and kindness, and her children were always foremost in her heart and mind. Mary was and will always be greatly loved, and she will be deeply missed by her many friends and family.

For additional information or for service details, please reach out to the family directly.

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City of Oaks Cremation and Funeral Home is a full-service funeral home in Raleigh, serving all of North Carolina and beyond. We provide an alternative to costly funeral homes and every day we help families in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and all over North Carolina make simple, affordable funeral arrangements.

Simply having to reach out to a funeral home can feel overwhelming. Our goal is to simplify the entire funeral home experience and make the process as easy as possible. We hope to eliminate any unnecessary surprises by publishing our total cost and the services we provide directly on our website. All of our obituaries are provided free of charge as a way to help families celebrate and commemorate the lives of their loved ones.

Our Promise

Apples to Apples

Just like all other licensed funeral homes in North Carolina, City of Oaks Cremation, LLC is regulated by the NC Board of Funeral Service.

The same laws that apply to the big corporate funeral homes also apply to the modest independently owned firms like ours. All crematories in North Carolina, regardless of who owns them, are inspected annually by the state and must adhere to the same rules and laws.

Genuine Care

We're committed to providing families within our community unsurpassed service before, during and after the time of loss.

Our staff will provide clear communication to your family through each step as we move forward from the original phone call notifying us of a death to the time we deliver the urn back to your family. We will treat your family with the utmost respect, as we honor the wishes of your loved one.

We promise to make this process affordable and as endurable as possible.

State Wide

Our Funeral Home is located in Wake County NC; however, we provide our services to families throughout the entire State.

Unlike other funeral homes, we don't charge an additional mileage fee. Regardless of what county you live in, we can help your family with making simple, affordable funeral arrangements. From Asheville to Wilmington, we're proud to help families statewide.

Our Services

Direct Cremation


Nobody likes surprise costs added in at the last minute. We guarantee you will not find any hidden charges here. We include everything you need for a simple or direct cremation. Simple, affordable and reliable. We have not changed the cost of our direct cremation service since we opened City of Oaks in 2012.

Cremation with Solidified Remains


We offer the option of choosing how you receive your loved ones remains. Selecting our Direct Cremation with Solidified Remains option is a beautiful way to transform cremated remains into 40-60 “stones” that you can hold.

Cremation with Visitation


City of Oaks Funeral Home and Cremation provides an affordable cremation option with onsite visitation. Nobody likes surprise costs added in at the last minute. We guarantee you will not find any hidden charges here. Simple, affordable and reliable.

Immediate Burial


An immediate burial has the same end result as a traditional burial; however, we have eliminated the extra (sometimes unnecessary) services prior to getting to the cemetery. Not everyone wants an open casket for viewing or a limousine for the family. Despite the term immediate, we can move as fast as you need or as slow as you like. This option simply allows you to save money by eliminating some of the fancy extras at the funeral home.

Traditional Funeral


We offer the same traditional funeral services as the big corporately owned funeral homes in the area; however, we cost about half the amount. You might consider a traditional funeral service if your family is looking for an open casket visitation, a traditional church service or a funeral service in the funeral home's chapel. A traditional funeral service can be altered to fit the needs of your family.

Green Burial


This establishment is one of a select number of funeral homes who meet the criteria for providing green funeral service by the Green Burial Council; a tax-exempt, nonprofit organization working to encourage environmentally sustainability in the field of funeral service. Our Green options allow for a funeral to take place without the use of toxic and non-biodegradable materials/chemicals.



As an alternative to traditional cremation, City of Oaks Funeral Home also offers Aquamation. The Aquamation process, often referred to as alkaline hydrolysis, uses a solution of water and potassium hydroxide to facilitate natural decomposition.

City of Oaks Funeral Home & Cremations