City of Oaks Funeral Home & Cremation
Obituary
Pamela Costilow
Apex, North Carolina
Age 69.
Died 06/03/2026.
Pam played piano and sang soprano in choirs and ensembles at Woodhaven and at Apex Baptist Church and she directed preschool choirs at both churches. After graduating from Apex High School in 1975 and Business School in 1977, Pam held a variety of jobs before landing a position at the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina where she worked in various capacities for 42 years. Pam became known as “The Queen Of Business Services” at the Baptist Building, with a stellar reputation for precision and speed in her work there. Her office was the gathering place for just about everyone who worked in Business Services—a place for laughter, tears, singing and prayers!
The true richness of Pam’s life was evident in her warm, caring personality and in the amazing love she had for her husband, her children, and especially her grandchildren. Pam had a sweet smile and sparkling blue eyes that would light up a room, with arms that were always open for hugs. Her home became the hangout place for many of her children’s friends as well as the place for regular family gatherings. Pam’s homemade lasagna (Jim called it her “slab o’ cheese” lasagna) was a holiday staple for family gatherings as well as gatherings with the crew from her office and gatherings of friends.
Pam loved music—gospel, country, hymns, and even songs by John Denver and Herman’s Hermits. Pam loved to sing the old songs, especially with her younger son singing along with her and her older son playing guitar. She kept up with her friends on Facebook. Friday nights for Pam included dinner with the Friday Night Ladies (and a few husbands along the way). After retirement, Pam devoted her days to being Grammy for her beloved grandchildren. As Pam’s health started to deteriorate, her activities slowed down a bit, and there were a lot more evenings spent sitting on the back porch swing with her husband, watching the bats fly overhead and listening to the night sounds in the woods behind their house, watching “her shows” on TV, and doing things with her grandchildren and friends whenever possible.
Pam lived a beautiful life filled with love for her family, her friends, her church, and God…her life touched so many of us in incredible, unforgettable ways. Her beautiful smile, her warm hugs and her sweet voice will be greatly missed.
Pam's family will receive visitors on Monday, June 15, 2026 at 11:00 am in the Fellowship Hall of Woodhaven Baptist Church, located at 4000 Kildaire Farm Road in Apex, North Carolina. A service celebrating Pam's life will begin at 12:00 pm in the church Sanctuary.
Following the service, burial will be held in the cemetery at New Hill Baptist Church, located at 3700 Old US 1 Highway, New Hill, North Carolina.
Friends and family are invited to join in celebrating Pam's life and the love, kindness, and joy she shared with all who knew her.
For additional information or for service details, please reach out to the family directly.
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City of Oaks Cremation and Funeral Home is a full-service funeral home in Raleigh, serving all of North Carolina and beyond. We provide an alternative to costly funeral homes and every day we help families in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and all over North Carolina make simple, affordable funeral arrangements.
Simply having to reach out to a funeral home can feel overwhelming. Our goal is to simplify the entire funeral home experience and make the process as easy as possible. We hope to eliminate any unnecessary surprises by publishing our total cost and the services we provide directly on our website. All of our obituaries are provided free of charge as a way to help families celebrate and commemorate the lives of their loved ones.
Our Promise
Apples to Apples
Just like all other licensed funeral homes in North Carolina, City of Oaks Cremation, LLC is regulated by the NC Board of Funeral Service.
The same laws that apply to the big corporate funeral homes also apply to the modest independently owned firms like ours. All crematories in North Carolina, regardless of who owns them, are inspected annually by the state and must adhere to the same rules and laws.
Genuine Care
We're committed to providing families within our community unsurpassed service before, during and after the time of loss.
Our staff will provide clear communication to your family through each step as we move forward from the original phone call notifying us of a death to the time we deliver the urn back to your family. We will treat your family with the utmost respect, as we honor the wishes of your loved one.
We promise to make this process affordable and as endurable as possible.
State Wide
Our Funeral Home is located in Wake County NC; however, we provide our services to families throughout the entire State.
Unlike other funeral homes, we don't charge an additional mileage fee. Regardless of what county you live in, we can help your family with making simple, affordable funeral arrangements. From Asheville to Wilmington, we're proud to help families statewide.
Our Services
$1196.75
Nobody likes surprise costs added in at the last minute. We guarantee you will not find any hidden charges here. We include everything you need for a simple or direct cremation. Simple, affordable and reliable. We have not changed the cost of our direct cremation service since we opened City of Oaks in 2012.
$2875.66
We offer the option of choosing how you receive your loved ones remains. Selecting our Direct Cremation with Solidified Remains option is a beautiful way to transform cremated remains into 40-60 “stones” that you can hold.
$1917.84
City of Oaks Funeral Home and Cremation provides an affordable cremation option with onsite visitation. Nobody likes surprise costs added in at the last minute. We guarantee you will not find any hidden charges here. Simple, affordable and reliable.
$1596.75
City of Oaks Funeral Home and Cremation provides an affordable cremation with a private family viewing. A private family viewing allows up to 10 immediate family members or friends to spend time with a loved one when a public visitation is not preferred.
$2497.50
An immediate burial has the same end result as a traditional burial; however, we have eliminated the extra (sometimes unnecessary) services prior to getting to the cemetery. Not everyone wants an open casket for viewing or a limousine for the family. Despite the term immediate, we can move as fast as you need or as slow as you like. This option simply allows you to save money by eliminating some of the fancy extras at the funeral home.
$6081.48
We offer the same traditional funeral services as the big corporately owned funeral homes in the area; however, we cost about half the amount. You might consider a traditional funeral service if your family is looking for an open casket visitation, a traditional church service or a funeral service in the funeral home's chapel. A traditional funeral service can be altered to fit the needs of your family.
$3033.75
This establishment is one of a select number of funeral homes who meet the criteria for providing green funeral service by the Green Burial Council; a tax-exempt, nonprofit organization working to encourage environmentally sustainability in the field of funeral service. Our Green options allow for a funeral to take place without the use of toxic and non-biodegradable materials/chemicals.
$2640.59
As an alternative to traditional cremation, City of Oaks Funeral Home offers Alkaline Hydrolysis. The Alkaline Hydrolysis process uses a solution of water and potassium hydroxide to facilitate natural decomposition.